PSST! Rantings, Musings, & "Not Your Mama's" Platitudes

You said you would come for dinner after the kids were settled. I cooked a chuck roast over the stove for hours. Shaved my legs. Put on makeup. Fixed my hair. Waited for you. You finally texted back at 9pm, but not about dinner. I watched a movie then slowly cleaned the kitchen. Fixed you a bowl, still warm on the counter. Put everything else away. Washed the dishes. Watched my phone. Finally gave it up and went to bed at 12:30am. No text, call, explanation.

I went for a walk down to the river—about 15 minutes one way. I sat and watched the water for about 30 minutes or so. It was calming. It used to be an unsafe area due to drug use and distribution, but recently the city did some rehabilitation. The police department and public works department both moved within eye sight of the river bank and park. Now there are life jackets displayed on a line by the river in case people want to swim (although I would not agree that it is safe—too many rocks for swimming). My anxiety was calmed by the water. Now I am back home and the anxiety is back. I am worried about work this weekend. I’m at the point where I’m ready to quit, and that’s not good. I have that follow up meeting with HR about my demotion, but I still have the responsibility of running our table this weekend because the person who does will be out. I’m going to go wash the dishes I have been ignoring for days and maybe clean up my space in the living room. That will help a little. To c...