We All Just Need A Fucking Break
Today I have been extremely low. When I am depressed I feel worthless and ashamed of everything human about myself—everything that makes me who I am. I listened to the same song on repeat for 4 hours straight and it still wasn't enough. I talked to an old friend, which felt comforting but also made me sad, because I don't want them to go away again. I want to be enough for someone to stick around for. I am enough now, but the depression makes me feel as though I am standing in a separate room, deep under water, with fluorescent lighting on the walls and ceiling while wearing a scratchy wool sweater that is one size too small. This was a terrible day. I wish that I knew how to be around people. I hate being the person that I am sometimes. I feel that the world does not understand me, and I try too hard to force it to. But you cannot make anyone do anything. And you cannot make the sun rise any sooner than it is already designed to (but you can make a cat chase a laser—so mayb...