Poor Mood Day, Deep Breathing, and Pink Glasses

 Today was a poor mood day. I was more anxious and irritable and wanted to be left alone. I felt like I didn't sleep enough and my neck has hurt all day. I wanted to binge to feel better, but I didn't. Instead, I made pinto beans and rice for the next couple of days. I did some deep breathing and stretching. Spent about 45 minutes in complete silence. I watched Life of the Party with Melissa McCarthy and laughed so hard. I swear she and her husband are geniuses. I hope tomorrow is better. It’s exhausting, truly taking care of yourself. It’s something we’re not taught, not really. We, especially women, are taught to give absolutely everything we have, no matter the cost of our mental and physical health. I’m tired and angry that I’m having to learn this. Part of me feels resentment towards everything. I don’t know. Towards myself? I start thinking, “How did I let it get this far gone?” This caring for myself as a person, a human. And I find myself angry. And now that I see how life can be, there’s no going back. I can’t run out on that little girl now. The little girl with round, pink glasses who loves books and cats. She’s a sweetheart. It’s time to care for her and let her know that she’s loved. 

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