PSST! Rantings, Musings, & "Not Your Mama's" Platitudes

Something about the neighbor’s kid pointing Look, Look! at a sky full of confetti feels adjacent to the way I thought your feelings were for me.  But the stars are certain & steadfast & your indifference was the answer I finally learned to accept. Love does not oscillate between “Maybe, maybe not.” Look, Look! What is true cannot be ignored. 

I've spent the past several weeks full of worry. For my daughter. For my parents. For my finances. I just spent the past two hours budgeting, canceling any subscriptions that I could, and applying for part-time jobs on top of my full-time job. I am very concerned, as many other people are right now. Everything feels so volatile. I'm not sure what to do. All I want is to be able to pay my bills and have a savings account. I went without home internet for a full year. I finally broke down and got it again a couple of months ago. I'm already pausing it because I simply cannot afford it. I am very thankful for my job, and I know that if I stick it out, I will get paid more as the years progress. I just need to keep my head down and keep going. Everything will be okay. I'm done mourning my life and my past. Life isn't what I thought or hoped it would be. That's just how it goes. I have a job, I have a home, and I enjoy the company of a couple of cats and a couple of ...