Riding Out Fear, Preparing for the Storm, and Creating from Nothing Unless I Go to the Store

 I am full of fear tonight. It's something I notice sometimes when my mood begins to shift. I'm wondering if I am about to descend into a depressive state. I was exhausted tonight and didn't do everything I wanted to do to prepare. It's like knowing a hurricane is coming and working so hard to protect your home that you don't give yourself enough time to shut yourself inside before the waves crash overhead. I overextend myself to prepare and, in turn, probably make things harder for myself. If I were to pace myself, perhaps the fall wouldn't be as hard. But, maybe it would be. Maybe preparing makes the fall easier to come back from. I honestly don't know. I'm trying to figure it all out. I don't want to be alone tonight so I'm leaving my laptop open on my bed so I can watch one of my comfort shows. Creating is a good tool for keeping afloat during a storm. Tomorrow I might make clay out of flour and make Valentine's earrings or a pendant or something just for fun. I could use watercolors to decorate as well. I need to go to the store, since I'm out of flour. And everything else we need. I will muddle through. If I don't get everything we need, I will get what we need for the day. Life goes on. 

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