PSST! Rantings, Musings, & "Not Your Mama's" Platitudes

 I'm trying to come to terms with this new season of my life. My daughter will be graduating from high school in about six weeks. I am starting a new job soon. I have grown so accustomed to being single. I worked so hard at my past job to try to fit in and form connections. I came up empty. I worked so hard and gave everything I had to be productive and helpful and to socialize and it ended up a dud. I am so exhausted. I don't understand why everything is so difficult. I was so proud of myself for installing this porch hammock swing I've had for years. I finally got it put up and it seemed solid. I had the best time this afternoon sitting in it and reading. There was a breeze, and it was so peaceful. Then, out of nowhere, I was on the ground. The bolts didn't hold. I'm not sure if it was due to my size or faulty installation. I hit my head on the window. A neighbor down the street was sitting on his front porch when it happened. He yelled and asked if I was okay. I ...

It’s Sunday again and the sun is finally shining through the living room window. I found some stained glass pieces at the thrift store and hung one of them from that window. Naturally, I hung it too high. The sun misses it. My daughter wanted to go out yesterday, so we went downtown. Paid too much for tacos and bubble tea and coffee but it was a break from reality. Found my book at a bookstore. The first time I’ve seen it out in the wild. I signed it and put it back. I posted about it and said it was a dream come true. Which was true. Is true. But then we came home and she wanted to go with friends tomorrow and I said no and it turned into a terrible argument. She didn’t understand why I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand how she couldn’t see the obvious. She’s only 16. She doesn’t know. Today has been a slow day. I made homemade pop-tarts that were barely edible. Roasted peanuts and burned them. Had to throw them out. Settled for mediocre hot dogs. I took a two-hour nap and woke...